Screw My Step Mom Com

Girl, you don't need a parade. I'm not their mom, and acting like I was probably caused some resentment and confusion on both ends. You will come across other stepmoms who can't stop raving about how wonderful their relationships are with their stepchildren. We are all working toward that potential, in our own time and in our own way.

You might need to visit a few counselors/therapists before you find the one that's right for you. Two, throughout most of the time I've been blogging, my stepdaughters were teenagers and they certainly didn't need or want me to be writing about them at that sensitive time in their lives. "They convinced the city to hold a parade in my honor! " Suddenly, I felt like my relationship with my stepdaughters was disintegrating -- and nothing I did or didn't do seemed to help matters. Also on The Huffington Post: Don't let it get you down. You're keeping it together.

Find a counselor or therapist, even if you don't think you need one. Somehow, we all muddled through adolescence and made it through to the other side. You can tell from a quick glance at my blog bio that I'm a stepmother -- but I almost never write about it. You can't fix what you didn't break.

Stepmom, let's just get something straight right now. But know up front that I am going to limit this subject and its details to MY story, not the story of my stepdaughters or their mother. Divorce is one of the most devastating things a person will ever go through, and no one needs to hear from you how the ex-wife is handling it, or how her kids are acting out in the aftermath. As wonderful as I'm sure you are, you can't fix that. We are all messed up, but you know what? Work on that, and hope that your efforts inspire others in your family to try harder, too. I am gentler with myself. Even if they CALL you mom. Maybe you even think your husband is to blame, because he always seems to take their side. Do you know that I hear your exact same problems from nearly every blended family that comes in this room?

This was initially a tough one for me, because I thought my girls needed me to act just like I was their mom. We are learning more about each other as we go. So let's start with ten brutal truths I've learned in my eleven years (and counting) as a stepmom, truths that every new stepmom, or woman even thinking of becoming a stepmom should consider. Or maybe you think your marital problems are all your stepkids' fault. You and your husband need to be each other's refuge, particularly when you're having issues with your children or stepchildren. It will teach them to do the same some day. Stick with it and know that you will emerge from this a better person.

We are all imperfect. If childrearing issues are pulling you apart, pinpoint exactly what's hurting your marriage and protect your relationship in this area immediately and relentlessly. Remember number one? Now that I have raised my stepdaughters and had time to look back on the experience, I feel like I ran a gauntlet of tremendous emotional challenges and came across the finish line truly changed. If you've got to let it out, limit your thoughts to a very close, trusted friend, or even better, tell it to your counselor or therapist. You've almost made it through! And I had two small children of my own. Embrace it, and make the most of it. Today, time and counseling have given me some much-needed perspective, and now that my older girls very nearly on their own, I feel ready to write more about the subject on my blog -- which is good, I guess, because I get a lot of e-mails from stepmoms asking for advice.

I am a far better wife and mother than I would have been without my stepdaughters. Follow Lindsay on her Facebook page.